


My Morning Star

by alyxpoe



Series: Always and Forever [4]
Category: Sherlock (TV), Sherlock Holmes & Related Fandoms
Genre: Gen, M/M, Post-Reichenbach, Romance, Sherlock's POV
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-04
Updated: 2013-09-04
Packaged: 2017-12-25 13:54:50
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,534
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/953886
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alyxpoe/pseuds/alyxpoe
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>So clever. You are so clever. I lie beneath you completely bare, void of any armor and you; you build me up by taking me to pieces...</p>
            </blockquote>





	My Morning Star

You are my morning star. It is so simple, really. Never before have I stopped and appreciated the way the fresh, warm tendrils of pink and gold light up your sleeping face. Gently, ever so gently, I run my fingers through the neatly clipped hairs on the back of your neck. You stir against me and I am so high.

High above my city, staring down at the vindictive and the kind; I soar. I am the falcon, observing the movements of my prey from on high. Slate gray pavements, ebony asphalt, the occasional splash of green and color of someone’s flower boxes. Darkest green of the humid jungle: I am the tiger bounding after an antelope in the high grass, splashing through the swamp. I am the great white shark moving like a torpedo through depthless seas. I am powerful.

Your strong, careful fingers lightly trace my ribs, my hip and I am slammed back into my body lying here under your broad chest, densely muscled torso and shoulders. Our fingers fit so well together, you hold tight enough to let me know you are there; it is not ever a demand but a request, pure and simple. An echo of your heart.

I am humbled.

 _Love_. A word I did not know, did not understand and refused to take the time and effort to discover it for myself. I fell in love when you were there beside me the last time someone spat _freak_ at me in your presence. We chuckled darkly at his bloody nose and then you, always the caretaker, patched him up; fixing the damage that you, the soldier, the protector, my protector caused on my behalf. You intrigue me. I fell in love with you when you jumped my most terrible enemy, ready to trade your life for mine. I fell in love with you when I…when I fell.

I do not regret any of the things I have done. It was worth the fear and the horrible ache of being so alone for this: to be here with you this way, leaning against these pillows while you rest your head against my chest. I know why you listen to my heartbeat after a nightmare like that one…I know. My fingers wander about the knotted bunch of tissue on your shoulder, you tense slightly. I probe lightly, you never stop me. I can feel where every stitch that saved your life has been; I close my eyes against the images that attempt to overtake me…and I was never even _there_.

Is it foolish that it hurts me to think of you out there alone, bleeding and in so much pain? I want to go back in time and stop the whole thing…

A shiver runs from the base of my spine to the back of my head. Would saving you meant that _this_ would never be?

You sigh as I stroke your spine as if you were strings on a violin. It will never cease to fill me with wonder that your skin retains the warm tan shade of the desert sun; you are my sun. I know that in some moments you think of me as the moon—and that is true, I reflect the life-giving golden light that originates with you. A thousand things rush through my mind, whirling, crashing with the jaunty tune of a calliope at the street fair: all those empty nights, angry days, vengeful afternoons and wasted mornings. Of all the memories that dogged my weary steps, so far gone that every single one was back towards _home,_ mostly I remember being _cold_.

It was worth every moment of pain to get back to your side. _This_ was the added bonus I could never comprehend.

I see you there, standing in the doorway sometimes, watching. I know part of what you are thinking by the weight of your gaze. I could drown in it: fathomless oceans, you pull me along at speeds upwards of seventy knots; I am in the crow’s nest of an ancient ship, looking down upon my own white whale…

What I see in your eyes brings me back down to size. Back here amongst the warm trappings of our nest; some facts of biology we cannot escape. Those animals that tend to pair up often use trappings of some sort to prove they are worthy to one another. All I can do is trade your valuable life for my own. I cannot give you the moon, the stars, the nebula, the galaxy, the entire universe. I cannot give you the cosmos…

 I will always come to you on my knees. A toga, a sheet, a suit, what do you need?

Here in the quiet of our sanctuary, may I tell you what I admire about you? You close your eyes halfway, your face inches from mine, and your chin rests against my sternum. Light rasp of golden stubble against my bare skin does not tickle; it reminds me of your laughter. I will take that to the affirmative. The rising sun kisses your coppery-silver temples and caresses platinum eyelashes that lie against your warm cheeks. I never dreamed I would find someone I could describe as _beautiful._ Beautiful- full of beauty; possessing qualities that give great pleasure or satisfaction to see, hear, think about; delighting the senses or mind. It is a word that has been in existence in western culture since at least the 1520’s.

Your soft laugh courses through my veins, it is more vital than the blood in my arteries; more important to life than the white blood cells and platelets and the iron that pumps through my heart ever second of every day. Even when I was alone, you were my heart; my life’s so-very-not-boring-breath.

I am no poet. Other poets have come before me, sonnets, haiku, prose and odes to _love_ …

I have always felt they were so foolish. One wheat-colored eyebrow neatly arches as you laugh. You laugh with me. Why did it take so long?

I smooth your brows with the pad of my index finger. Each hair on its own is fine, slowly fading from beeswax to white of lilies that grow in India…they smell like honey. Because I am able, I lean towards your face and observe the way your eyes follow every movement, never afraid, always delighted. I kiss your lips and hold your neck; no tension in your just-waking body. Exquisite. Wonderful. Enticing. I want you to understand all of these things I am unable to say. You encourage _more_ with the soft, authoritative swipe of your tongue. I oblige.

In the moment so deeply that I barely notice when you kick off the sheets, muscles rolling under my hands and then you are over me. Darkest azure orbs full of loving predatory intent. Oh how well I love this game. This new way of solving a puzzle that remains a mystery from day to day…

Your hand open against my jaw, thumb against my chin, index finger on my cheek. You say you could cut yourself on my cheekbones; I just smile and wonder who makes up such ridiculous descriptions. It simply cannot be the same person who has the ability to understand these feeling of _taking flight_ when your other hand is palm down on my torso and trailing lower…

Keep me here with you, keep me anchored. No one else ever knew how and you do it so simply. With one hand on the nape of my neck and one on my hip I am completely held down by the sheer undecipherable depths of your soul.

I need you.

My hands travel down your spine, I feel you shudder; a sharp inhale; heat where we touch. I am yours.

I have been since…

You called me an Apollo once, though I had yet to give you a name. You must be Thor-you control the thunder and the storms that rage around us, keeping it calm here as if we are in the eye of the storm…

Your light chuckle and huff of air against my thigh pulls me ever forward. You always just seem to _know_ how to make it stop. As your lips move across the softest parts of me, I make sounds heretofore unknown to me…I need to catalogue them…

Oh!

So clever. You are so clever. I lie beneath you completely bare, void of any armor and you; you build me up by taking me to pieces, by short-circuiting my mind…I can hear myself mumbling, prattling on about gold and the sun and warmth and never again, do you hear me? Let us stay this way forever…until I hear myself cry out your name.

The spinning stops. I feel your powerful body move beside me. Coolness of a sheet; you do not need to tell me to sleep. I hear the words tripping from my mouth…wonderful, brilliant, clever, my love, my one and only.

Then you laugh.

The day is full of bright lemon yellow suns that crystallize under your touch at my side just as my vision fades and goes to white…


End file.
